have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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