guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
