I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Sober January is a disaster.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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