he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
