Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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