Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize