how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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