I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Randomize