I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
