Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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