It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
