dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
