More tranny stories later!
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
