ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
