also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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