That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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