hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
