if you like me you must not know who I am
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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