I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize