just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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