i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
