I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
This toilet bowl is my home.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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