Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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