We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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