He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
