i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
