Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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