I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
4 words: hood of his car
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize