you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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