My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
