you would pick up someone in the library
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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