Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
