One girl and one boy is just not enough.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize