the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
