i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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