It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
