This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
