i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
