My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i would punch a child for taco bell
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
