Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's shark week go big or go home
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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