Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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