So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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