let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
