In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
