Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
