I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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