I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
