I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
