My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
