Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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