He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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