But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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