Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
