lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
