What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
