I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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