South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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