We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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