Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
