Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
