i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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