What a fucking waste of an outfit
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
