U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
