I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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