I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wish my penis had an off switch
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
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