Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize