Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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