i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
