I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
