Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
