Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
