the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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