sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
