You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
