i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
