Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
