I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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