He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it glows. i had to have it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
