Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
