i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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