Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
