did you get engaged???
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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