Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's rum buckets o'clock
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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