even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
