i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
