yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
