dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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