I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
