Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
These tits shall not be calmed
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
