Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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